Omens
by Hope-no-Less
Summary: Pages: “What you hear and what you see is the truth. Since it’s me we’re talking about… you have to read it for yourself.” LaviLenalee
1. Arachnophobia

**Title: Arachnophobia**

**Summary: It's a sign. All we need is a sign. It's everywhere. **

**Arachnophobia:** He knew a few women who were brave enough to face Akuma. And out of those women she would be deemed the bravest; it was enough to assume that she hardly afraid of anything… "Who would've thought." He smirked.

**A/N:** It's my first on a D.Gray-man fanfic so I hope you'll enjoy this. Yes I know it is strange and a little OOC but I think it is very amusing. I have recently decided that this is my favorite pairing thank you very much to authors: Raynne Sayre and Kurai Arashi for your fanfics have drove up to fluff heaven and convinced me to write my own (if you're reading this thank you very much I'll drop my review when I come back.) --, R & R please and thank you!

**Disclaimer:** Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?

* * *

She was _**so**_ bored. 

The Black Order has been too quiet lately that it was enough to surprise her. Even her brother who is usually seen annoying the wits out of her has gone quiet. Come to think of it almost everyone was out on a mission except her. Strangely her brother has become too cautious regarding her missions.

She allowed her feet to lead her aimlessly around the halls of The Tower.

She wanted to go around town today but, she preferred to have company. Miranda and Krory just returned from their last mission so it was understandable that they all they want for now was some good sleep. Meanwhile Allen was on the way home from Germany and Kanda was coming from Spain. Both of them would definitely cause a ruckus when they come back but, that would be after a week or so.

There had been no news from Lavi.

He's been gone for almost a month and there was absolutely no news about him.

Bookman wasn't with him but, he isn't with the Black Order either. Her brother told him that he left for some important business and, whatever it was it had nothing to do with them.

Before Bookman left Rinali shared her concern with him and just grinned at the evident worry in her face and said,

"He's alright. After all he is Lavi."

And it sounded like the perfect statement to describe the laid-back Exorcist with a goofy smile. She smiled at his statement and allowed herself to calm down. Yet her nature of constantly worrying over people bothered her and, she decided that she would be completely convinced once she sees him face to face.

Rinali winced at the realization of her train of thoughts. She was about to stop and ponder about it when she noticed a huge black door standing in front of her. Her fingers reached out for the knobs of the door and felt familiarity surging through her body. She took a deep breath, stretched both hands and opened the door.

The library was a huge, hollow room filled with books no one imagined existed. It had titles on all sorts of topics, in various sizes, with different book covers, tattered parchment paper with old scribbles of ink in assorted languages. She inhaled the strange and unique smell that could only be produced by these books.

The room was very dim and Rinali had to walk slowly around the room until she found the window curtains. She tugged at the curtains and slowly started to spread them open allowing the bright sunshine to give more light to the hollow room. The windows were as huge as the door so she didn't bother opening them.

The library is on the second top most floor of the tower.

After taking in the breath taking view outside, she turned around the room and frowned. Although the library is one of the Black Order's pride it was very…

Very dusty.

Not to mention cobwebs everywhere and random books scattered or stacked on the floor. Pages of some books were torn off and added to the clutter of the room. It reminded her so much of her brother's office where paper replaced the floor tiles.

Isn't this where Lavi resides all the time?

How he loves the atmosphere and the aura of the room she can understand that much but, the room seriously needs cleaning. Without second thought she left the room in search of a mop, bucket, rags and various cleaning materials.

Cleaning up the library would take a _**long time.**_

She dreaded the thought but, she had nothing better to do anyway. A thought crossed her mind and made her smile.

It would be enough to spend time on as she waits for the library's red-haired laid-back resident.

--------------

Dressed in a white apron, she tucked the sleeves of her black dress as she got ready to clean. She started as cleaning up as soon as she got all the materials she needed. Even when she went several floors down the tower just to look for cleaning materials she hadn't bump into any familiar face. Everybody was strangely occupied these days but, it didn't bother her anymore since she found something to distract herself.

She grabbed the ladder and decided to start dusting the cobwebs off the ceiling. She started from the huge doors going to the wide windows. She dusted off the cobwebs with her dominant hand and covered her mouth and nose with her free hand.

A bath sounds really good once she finishes whatever she can at the end of the day.

After the tedious task of dusting cobwebs she finally reached the windows. She was very relieved to have a breathtaking view to distract her thoughts.

Rinali absent-mindedly stopped dusting off cobwebs as she sighed wistfully at the view before her. It was like being on the top of the world to be able to see just the town's houses and people in minor detail. The sky looked a lot clearer and so close to her reach.

As her thoughts started flowing she can't help but feel a strange chill in her spine. She felt small movements around the library and she wasn't sure what it was. The library door was huge; if anyone would come inside she should have seen the person instantly. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. She slowly turned around trying to maintain her balance on the ladder.

Her deep violet eyes widened when it came to contact with a four tiny pairs of black eyes reflecting the shock t held. Its tiny legs were squirming very slowly as its body nimbly hang itself from the thin silky thread. It was black from head to body to legs and it didn't look to friendly. In Rinali's opinion that is, since it was just two inches away from her face.

The cold chill in her spine came again and there was no use holding back because she couldn't take it anymore.

* * *

He needed sleep pretty _**badly.**_

In all honestly he thought he would never get back in one piece. First the crappy train ride, then the good-for-nothing-map which had landmarks that were applicable ten years back, then the boat ride which almost sank no thanks to the Akuma, he lost his finder and in addition his wallet and… ah heck you probably don't want to hear the rest of it.

To cut it short:

It was hell.

Lavi was dragging his sore feet to his destination, his home. The tall black tower standing just a few miles ahead of him also known as The Black Order's Headquarters. And as always a wave of anticipation washed through him. It feels very nice to be home knowing that people were waiting for your return.

To distract himself from the length of his walk he wondered how everyone was doing. He hadn't heard from anybody since golem got eaten and the fact that he was always on the run hardly gave him anytime to communicate with headquarters; it was really frustrating.

From what he recalled Allen was in Germany and Yu was in Spain. He didn't know if Miranda and Krory where back from their missions but if they weren't then…. Headquarters sounded really gloomy right now.

He winced and remembered that Rinali didn't have any mission.

His brother had been very protective lately and had limited her number of missions. If that was the case then she must be pretty bored right now. And in an instant his thoughts swirled around the raven-haired exorcist.

He smirked as he wondered what she might be doing right now. Lavi guessed that her train of thought would run around something like this: _I wonder how everyone is doing now?, I hope their safe, Is everybody doing okay?_ And other similar phrases that ran through the same thought. Sometimes it bothered Lavi that she worries too much and he would always assure her that everything will be okay.

For a selfless person Rinali is one of the few women he knows who is brave enough to battle an Akuma. She isn't the kind to be feared since the Dark Boots gave her poise and elegance but, even without activating it she still has those qualities anyway. Out of all those women he deemed her the bravest and it was safe to assume that she was hardly afraid of anything except losing the people dear to her.

And for some reason a part of him wanted to see her bright welcoming smile as he stepped through the doors of headquarters.

Lavi blinked and realized that he was already in front of headquarters.

He stretched his arms hoping some stretching would wake him up. His body may be fully awake but his mind and soul were as good as dead right now. _A bath sounds really good now._

"AAAHHHHH!!!!!"

The familiar voice was enough to send an alarm to his body and it shook him awake instantly. It sent chills to his spine as he sensed fear wavering in her voice. He worriedly stared up and searched as to where the scream could've come from and sensed it coming from the second top most floor of the tower.

Without second thought he took his hammer and ordered it to extend until the second top most floor of the tower to the damsel in distress who's screamed for reasons who knows what.

---------------------------------------------------------

Frozen stiff as she shakily tried to maintain her balance, Rinali clamped her mouth shut at the realization that her scream was probably strong enough to echo throughout the tower. She was now praying so hard that no one would come and witness such embarrassment.

The spider twitched some more and it looked like it was about to move. She decided to get down as soon as possible before the spider caused her to scream again. She was doing well going down when the spider strangely had the same train of though and started going down with the help of its silky thread.

That was it! She decided to jump of the ladder when she lost her footing and her deep violet eyes widened as she heard a familiar voice scream her name.

"Rinali!"

"L-Lavi?!"

She turned her head slightly to see Lavi who broke through the window as he caught her fall with the help of his hammer. The huge window now had a huge crack and the shards were flying inside the library like bullets. He grabbed her petite frame close to him as they crashed heavily on the floor.

Rinali was the first one who got up and panicked at the grimace on Lavi's face.

"Lavi! Lavi are you alright?!"

His emerald eye cracked open just to be blinded by deep violet ones. He groaned as he felt a headache spinning through his head.

"I'm so glad you're alright!!!" She took his hand and held it in hers as she tried to suppress the tears forming in her eyes.

He could only grin, "Idiot." She giggled and beamed with her usual bright smile. It was either that or his headache was making him dizzy. He slowly sat up and looked around the room, "What were you doing here anyway?"

"I was cleaning up until you arrived."

He raised a brow, "Eh?"

"It was pretty boring while everyone was out on their own mission and everyone seemed strangely preoccupied today."

He took a few minutes to register what she just said and agreed, "Oh."

Then he popped the question, "Why were you screaming? Did something happen?"

He didn't fail to memorize every detail on her face when she blushed, "Nothing."

Lavi being the mischievous prat that he was, took her by surprise as he tightened the grip on her hand as he stood up and made her stand up with him. Curiosity and mischief was dripping in his voice, "Oh really?"

Annoyed, Rinali just stared somewhere else and refused to meet his eye. "I told you it was nothing."

Curiosity was starting to kill Lavi as he restlessly wondered what it was that would make this brave, selfless and not to mention beautiful woman, scream in fear.

By the looks of her face she looked pretty determined not to talk about it. Lavi accepted this as a losing battle and decided to change the topic when a small black object started slinging itself downward with the help of long silk thread. He was about to point it out to Rinali when he noted she was biting down a scream as she shuddered and quickly hid behind him.

"I.don't.want.to.see.it." She muttered against his back as she gripped on his clothes tightly.

His glances shifted from the innocent spider dangling two inches from his face and the petite frame who was hiding behind him. His gaze remained at the innocent spider that was coated black all over, with four pairs of tiny black eyes and eight squirming legs.

This made her scream and shudder.

This made him fly to the second top most floor of the building.

This is what she was afraid of??

As he registered the amusing discovery in his head he was grinning like an idiot deep inside as tried his very best to keep it to himself. To think that he was just thinking about her being one of the bravest women he's ever known. He just couldn't help it and this time he was mentally laughing.

The bravest woman he knew was actually arachnophobic.

"Who would've thought?" He smirked as he took the tiny hammer from his pants and sending the innocent little spider flying out the window. He muttered a small 'Thank You' and the smirk on his face grew wider. _I come home for the first time in many weeks and this is what I find. It's so nice to be home._

"You can look now."

Rinali popped her head from behind his back and blinked in relief to see that the object of her dread was nowhere to be seen. Lavi turned to face her and she quickly took a few steps back. Frustration and embarrassment was mixed in her face.

"If it helps," He paused as he caught her attention with her deep violet eyes glaring at his emerald ones, "I won't tell anyone."

If looks could kill Lavi was lying in the pool his blood right now, "You won't tell anyone?"

He gulped as he raised his hands in surrender, "I promise." Her expression relaxed a little as she gave a small and shy smile, "I'll take your word on that."

He took a deep breath and was very thankful that she wasn't glaring right now when she suddenly spoke up again, "In exchange you have to help me clear up the mess you've caused."

Lavi blinked as he glanced around the room. She was right the place really was a mess with all the shattered glasses scattered on the floor. He frowned as he thought of a way to escape his predicament.

"Fine but I have a condition as well." Lenalee raised a brow in curiosity.

A deviant grin crept up his face and Rinali didn't look pleased, "I won't tell anyone about it if…" The death glare stared back at him again, "If?"

"If you don't mind sharing a bath with me, besides I'm sure you're dying to have one after all the cleaning you've---"

S-P-L-A-T

A rag came flying to his face and stopped him from finishing his sentence.

_I'll take that as a no then._ "Ri-Rinali I was just joking." He waved his hands frantically to emphasize that he was because she was walking closer to him.

"Rinali?"

She tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek coloring his cheeks with a shade of bright red. He winced and looked down at her bright smile and can't help but return the smile as well.

"This should be enough for a thank you."

And after that Lavi swore to kill all the spiders he would come across to if he were to be kissed for every spider he killed.

Of course he won't forget to thank you.

* * *

Wahahahaha!! --, R & R Please and thank you! 


	2. Earrings

**Title: Earrings**

**Summary: **"Who cares?! Just promise me you'll wear it so you won't get bored and you won't try anything rash like cutting your hair alright?"

**A/N:**

**u.sura-yume: Thank you so much for reviewing this really meant a lot to me. (it's enough to write the next chapter) --,**

**Disclaimer:** Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?

* * *

His footsteps echoed around the empty hallway as he clutched a small black book in his hand. He was smiling goofily. Of course he's smiling that way because his destination is her room after all. He arrived at the door and knocked.

"Rinali! It's me." No answer.

He knocked again, "Rinali?" Still no answer.

He did the liberty of letting himself in as he slowly turned the knob. Her windows were wide open to the wind that played with the silk curtains and, to the sun that shone brightly to the room. Everything around it was neat and organized compared to his room it's the completely the opposite with almost anything stuffed anywhere around the room. Rinali would often comment on how he could find things despite everything being cramped and messy. He chuckled at the memory as he glanced around looking for the owner of the room.

There she was sitting on a chair in front of her dresser. For some reason she seemed pretty pre-occupied so Lavi slowly approached her in attempts to frighten her. He grinned mischievously; He was going to enjoy the look on her face.

Lavi slowly bent down and blew softly on Rinali's ear. It instantly sent shiver's on her spine causing her to shriek and jump up from her seat. She frowned instantly when she was faced with the perpetrator.

"Very funny."

Lavi grinned in an attempt to suppress his laughter, unfortunately he failed, "Sorry about that."

She crossed her arms and sat down, "You really scared me there."

He stood beside her and chuckled, "That's because you were so pre-occupied. You probably didn't hear me knock." Her eyes widened slightly as she stared at her reflection. He bowed down slightly and rested his arm on the chair's armrest, "So, what's bothering you?"

"Should I cut my hair?" She asked as she raised two fingers and moved them like they were scissors. Rinali caught the shock in Lavi's eyes and smiled slightly. Lavi raised a brow in disagreement, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because it's boring."

Lavi's eyes sparked in amusement and continued to stare at their reflection as they spoke, "What is?"

She raised her hand and playfully twirled her hair with her fingers, "To be honest I don't want to cut my hair either. I just thought I should try something new or different that's all." She let out an audible sigh as she leaned back on the chair.

"It must be very funny hearing this from me. You're probably thinking I'm vain." She said as she playfully nudged him on his sides.

He shook his head and smiled, "Nope. It's normal. Trust me I know what you're going through."

Of course he should. For someone to have "Lavi" as a 49th alias going through different changes like changing his hairstyle, thinking up of different names, moving around from one place to another and, not to mention going through a lot of fashion statements he KNOWS very well what it means to be _**bored.**_

_Fashion statements? Hm…_

"Wait here. I think I know just what you need." He patted her on the head and left the book he was holding earlier on the table. She wasn't given a chance to ask him because he left quickly. Rinali was left to her thoughts wondering what Lavi would bring back with him. Although it may take a while if he will get the item from his room; she was surprised when Lavi came back in an instant.

She stood up from her chair and turned to him, "That was fast!"

He just smirked and turned her around by the shoulder letting her face the mirror, "This one's special so it wasn't really hard to find."

"Hm?" Rinali blinked at their reflection, "What is it?"

"Close your eyes." Rinali stared at him with suspicion but Lavi just covered them with his hand. "Just close them alright? And no peeking!" She laughed at his gesture and eagerly nodded. He removed his hand and waved it around in front of her eyes just to make sure. When he was completely sure that her eyes are closed, he gently inserted something on both sides of her ear followed by their lock.

"Earrings? Are they like the ones you're wearing?"

"Nope, like I said their special." Lavi smiled in satisfaction, "You can open your eyes now."

Rinali had to blink several times before she could clearly focus on her reflection. When her vision concentrated on her ears her eyes sparkled in awe.

"They're beautiful!" She leaned forward as she admired the tiny, circular, jade earrings on her ear. They twinkled as small rays of sunlight reflected the beauty of its color.

It fits her much better than when he wore them before. Come to think of it he couldn't quite decipher how he got the earrings. Either way he was glad he kept it. It's a small change on her appearance but, it's done quite a lot. Lavi suppressed the small blush on his cheeks as he tried to act cool, "It's yours now."

"Really?"

He failed quite miserably as he looked away, "Why not? Besides it looks a lot better on you than it does on me."

She noticed he was failing and she took the chance to mock him; it's payback for scaring her earlier, "If it doesn't look good on you why did you get it in the first place?"

Lavi was caught off guard and he was a little irritated. He faced her reflection instead, "Who cares?! Just promise me you'll wear it so you won't get bored and you won't try anything rash like cutting your hair alright?"

Rinali laughed at the expression on his face; he was fuming pretty childishly, "Hai, hai!"

--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+

"Nii-sama, here's your coffee." Rinali held out the tray with her brother's special mug of coffee.

"Arigatou Rinali!!!" Komui looked up from the stack of papers and took his mug of coffee with delight. That's when he noticed.

"Hm? Rinali something's different about you today…."

She just smiled as she hugged the tray in her arms, "You think so?"

Komui tapped his fingers on his chin thoughtfully, "It's strange but I think you're blooming!! Did something happen? Hmmm?? Did you try something new? Tell me! Tell me!"

Her deep emerald orbs just sparkled and that's when Komui noticed that something that sparkled along with it. He failed to note what it was and where it came from.

Rinali beamed, "Nothing. It's just something special."

* * *


	3. Drunk

**Title: Drunk**

**Summary:** "I swear to drunk I'm not god!" Lavi x Rinali

**A/N:**Ta-dah!! Updated Bwahaha hope you enjoy this!

**PrincezzSnow:**I support the AllenxRinali couple too but I'm leaning more on the Lavi x Rinali. I find it much more amusing. Thanks for adding this to your favorites. --,

**UNpReDiCtAbLE lIfE: **I support Allen x Rinali but this is much more amusing in my opinion. --, Thanks for the R & R and adding this to your story alert. --,

**u.sura-yume**: Thanks for reading and reviewing this, I'm really grateful you reviewed again. --,

**eunjus2**: I think this new chapter I made is a lot cuter. --,

**To Lady Ruby Moon and kawaii-pal: **Thanks for adding this to your story alert. --,

Thank you so much again! R & R please! --,

And without further ado...

**Disclaimer:**Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?

* * *

It was ten o'clock in the evening at the headquarters of The Black Order and anyone would assume that everyone had already deposited themselves to their beds to catch up with some well deserved sleep. Apparently if you come to The Black Order headquarters right now and do a room inspection right now, you'll be surprised to find the rooms empty. Well except for the rooms of the ladies. 

It's Boys Night Out and their doing a pretty good job at it in the cafeteria.

Jerry watched as the strict and orderly organization of The Black Order slowly came to ruins under a certain beverage called "alcohol." It didn't hurt them to celebrate like this every once in a while. Despite everyone acting like an idiot in their own little ways the men from The Black Order are very responsible people. The effects of alcohol didn't drown their responsibility.

Although one can't avoid the fact that people get drunk, and there are different kinds of drunkards.

This is probably why Jerry doesn't mind working overnight with his staff as they serve alcohol for the people of The Black Order and for themselves as well. Jerry admits that he can't hold alcohol quite well that's why he stays in a nice quiet corner where he can see everyone and observe them together with a nice glass of red wine.

There are some numbered few who can take alcohol pretty well and surprisingly most of them are Finders. They cause some trouble while exchanging insults with one another but none of them ended into a punching session. They would just glare at each other, take really deep breaths as they pick up the nearest bottle, and then they'll start laughing at each other like nothing happened. Some of them play random card games and make ridiculous bets.

Speaking of card games Allen Walker just started a tournament of Strip Poker. Anyone could tell that he's already heavily controlled by alcohol. Even Krory who just accepted his challenge along with other Exorcists and Finders are under the control of alcohol as well. Allen took out a deck of cards and started distributing them to the circle of contestants. He tried dragging Kanda to join their game as well.

Kanda barked at him and said that he was busy training as he angrily waved a teaspoon he called "Mugen."

Allen just shrugged and went back to the circle of contestants. Surprisingly Komui was already with them and claims that whoever strips the most clothing should be the "playmate" of the new Komurin he was inventing right now. It sparked everyone's spirits and suddenly everyone was firing up and excited to play Strip Poker. The prize of the winner of course is complete salvation from total embarrassment and possible annihilation.

As Jerry watched the game progress he could not help but wonder if the evil glint from Allen's eyes and the dark aura surrounding him is caused by alcohol or an Akuma. He suddenly remembered the stories he heard about Allen when he was an apprentice of General Cross and it brought shivers down his spine; Poor Allen.

Jerry took a sip of his wine and grinned. True, the Exorcists are skilled and amazingly strong warriors against the Akuma but they are the exact opposites when it comes to alcohol.

They are a bunch of completely wasted lunatics.

But there was one exception.

Jerry's eyes scanned the room and found Lavi sitting on a stool not too far from where Allen was holding his holding the Strip Poker Tournament. As always he just watch the games from where he was seated then he would glance around the room and observe another group. Sometimes he would just sit in the middle of a group and listen to the stories they have to tell. Some people would think that Lavi is only partly interested in events such as these. Jerry would reason that it must have something to do with Lavi being a Bookman. Then again maybe he's just saving himself from possible embarrassment.

Among all the Exorcists in the room Jerry would point out that Lavi was the only one who could hold his alcohol well. As Lavi walks around the room Jerry noticed that he doesn't walk around wobbly; he walks a perfectly straight path. Lavi's voice doesn't slur whenever he talks. His replies are always short and sensible but, it bothered Jerry on why the usual talkative Lavi says little whenever he is drunk.

Jerry winced when he noticed Lavi heading out the door. Lavi passed by him and he decided to start a conversation.

"Leaving already Lavi? Everyone's still having fun you know."

Lavi faced him and nodded, "I'm a little sleepy." That's when Jerry noticed something different. Lavi's emerald orbs were slightly hazy and drooping a little, his cheeks had an interesting tinge of red, and he had a really goofy smile plastered on his face.

Jerry was going to mentally slap himself after asking this. He eyed Lavi suspiciously and raised a brow then he popped the question.

"Lavi, are you drunk?"

Instantly Lavi raised his right hand like he was giving an oath and replied with pride and glory clearly written in his face,

"I swear to drunk I'm not god!"

And with that he left a very shocked Jerry and an empty glass of wine.

-+- +-+- +-+- +-+- +-+- +-+-

Lavi allowed his feet to guide him to his room. He's aware of how drunk he was right now and sleeping really sounded like a good idea. Fighting to keep his consciousness up he struggled to keep his eyes open until he could reach his room. He mentally scolded himself for taking the glass of wine earlier. If only he stopped himself from taking the wine he would have no problems heading out to his room right now! After who-knows-how-long he finally reached his room. He gave out an exasperated sigh and opened the door to his room. The moon was so kind enough to shine its light on his room but, it wasn't enough.

He leaned by the door frame and lazily outstretched his hand on the wall to search for the switch. He grumbled when he couldn't find it and made a few steps forward which became his fatal mistake.

He tripped on his own feet and knocked himself out cold on the carpeted floor.

-+- +-+- +-+- +-+- +-+- +-+-

A petite female figure dressed in a long sleeved black nightgown silently walked around the hallways of The Black Order's headquarters. Her raven black tresses flowed like silk as she occasionally glances from one side to another.

Rinali still found it hard to get some decent sleep at night, which is why she had a habit of walking around the hallway in hopes that she would get tired and fall asleep easily. It wasn't of much help right now considering the noise created by the men in the cafeteria is practically echoing around the tower.

She sighed; she has no choice but to bear with it for now. It was their way of having fun after all. If there's one thing to be proud about what they were doing in the cafeteria right now is their sense of responsibility. Jerry told this to her lots of times and she can testify for it as well. Although she's never peeked at the cafeteria to see what the men look like when they're wasted everyone looks fine the next day. Even during her occasional walks around the hallway she's hasn't seen any of her friends in their drunken state. Whenever they go on a drinking spree everyone sleeps in the cafeteria except a numbered few who still have their brains intact with the ability to go to their respective rooms in one piece.

Her ears concentrated on the sound of her footsteps echoing around the hallway. As she allowed her thoughts to wander so in hopes that it would tire herself, she winced at the sight of an open door at the end of the hallway. Curious, she slowly picked up her pace to see what was wrong.

Her amethyst eyes widened in shock to see a familiar, unmoving, figure with his feet facing the door as he lay on his side on the carpeted floor of his messy room.

"Lavi!"

Quickly she entered the room and knelt beside him and shook him gently by the shoulders, "Lavi are you alright?" He gave a small groan and refused to open his eyes. Her nose twitched at the faint smell of wine. She quickly understood what it meant and frowned, "Mou, you got completely worried back there!"

She shook him by the shoulders again, this time a little bit stronger, "Lavi, wake up! You don't really intend to sleep on the floor now do you?" He groaned some more but he never opened his eyes nor did he move from his spot. She sighed as she stared at his sleeping figure. If ever she saw anyone from The Black Order in their drunken stupor she imagined it to be a very stupid and at the same time a hilarious encounter. Jerry always told her stories about their drunken adventures that they keep in secret and since then she wondered if she would be able to witness them.

Taking care of one of them never crossed her mind.

Rinali continued her efforts of waking Lavi up hoping that he would just stand up and plop himself on his bed. Tonight wasn't exactly a perfect night to be sleeping on the floor. The winds were quite harsh and sleeping on a carpeted floor doesn't help.

After failing on her last attempt of waking him up, she decided to give up but then again she couldn't just leave him the way he is now. She knew that she doesn't have enough strength to carry him. Calling for help doesn't count either since there's no one she can count on right now. She decided to drape some blankets on him instead. It was dark and everything was too cluttered to find anything so she stood up and decided to switch the lights on.

She was about to turn the lights on when she heard him groaning again, only this time it was louder. She stood beside him and bent a little, "Lavi are you awake now?" He blinked several times and made a small nod. She smiled in relief and reached out her hand, "Here, I'll help you get to bed."

Lavi raised his head up a little and stared at her for a moment. His vision was a little hazy but he knew who was with him right now. After his vision returned to normal he muttered something which Rinali failed to hear.

She bent down so she could hear him better, "Huh?"

"Come closer." He muttered.

Curiously she bent down a little more, "What is it?"

The next thing that happened left her dumbstrucked.

In an instant Lavi grabbed her arm causing her to lose her balance and fall to the carpeted floor. She was lying on her side like he was with her raven tresses splayed on the carpet like black ink. Her face was just inches away from his. But Lavi hadn't let go of her arm yet.

Because he was hugging it.

Two strong arms were wrapped around her arm; it was like a kid hugging a teddy bear.

Her amethyst eyes widened in shock at the predicament she just landed herself on. Literally.

The first thing she thought of was to loosen his grip by trying to wriggle her arm out but it was no use. He just hugged on it tighter causing him to drag her a little closer to him. She decided to stop her attempts for she couldn't possibly guess what would happen next. She kept still and made sure she was still breathing.

"Lavi." Rinali whispered as she felt tinges of pink shades coloring her cheeks. He reacted by giving a low moan and that was all.

It was so quiet that she could hear her own breathing together with his. Her heart kept beating and it made her panic because it sounded so loud to her that she thought he could hear it.

The pale moonlight shone on them and left Rinali with her thoughts. _He's drunk… He doesn't know what he's doing…_ Her eyes settled on his sleeping figure. Everyone has their own burden and they carry it differently. She's never seen Lavi at peace before. He may joke and laugh along with the rest of them but his eyes would stray every once in a while as he gets lost in his own thoughts. His eyes would always seem distracted and sometimes she would catch a glimpse of hurt in his face.

Unconsciously her free hand reached out to him and brushed the stray strands of hair from his face. She chuckled; it's so strange to watch the usually active and talkative Lavi stay quiet and do nothing.

She felt the cold winds blow in and it sent shivers down her spines. She attempted to escape from his grasp once more. She was making progress until Lavi clasped his hand with hers. She thought he was going to wake up so she braced herself for what would happen next.

Surprisingly she wasn't prepared.

"Stay." He whispered.

It was just one small word that almost took her breath away. _He's drunk…. He doesn't know what he's doing… _She felt warm all over and strangely the cold didn't bother her that much anymore. She found herself smiling foolishly and tried to suppress it. Instead she found her thoughts lulling her to sleep and slowly her eyes started to close.

_He's drunk... He doesn't know what he's doing..._

Then again when he wakes up he probably won't remember anything. Thanks to the effects of alcohol probably not even the Bookman who is gifted with an unbelievable memory would remember that he landed her on their current predicament right now and that he told her something that turned her mind blank. She'll just wake up early to leave so she can spare herself of coming up with an excuse to their current situation.

_That's right... He probably won't remember..._

Finally she gave in to the drowsy feeling that was engulfing her and she kept her eyes shut. Maybe there are things that aren't meant to be remembered by a Bookman. There are things that one wants to forget so it wouldn't be impossible that there are things that are not remembered.

_He's drunk... He doesn't know what he's doing..._

Yeah right keep telling yourself that.

"Even if a Bookman like you doesn't remember moments like these, I'll be your Bookman..."

She smiled as she rested her free hand together with his, "I'll remember these moments for you."

* * *

She cringed slightly at the smell of a strong but wonderful aroma. She blinked her eyes several times before she could focus on where she was now. Strangely there was a blanket draped over her and a pillow was already under her head. Her brows furrowed wondering what happened. 

"You awake already?" She slowly turned her head to the direction of the voice. Lavi, dressed in a long-sleeve blue shirt and black pants, was sitting a few inches beside her. He looked down at her as he casually raised his mug and grinned, "Ohayo."

She blinked.

"It's coffee; it helps take away the effects of hangovers. I made some for you as well."

Rinali's thoughts scattered and shock. Her body caused her to jolt up as she sat up to face him with her head bowed slightly. Her raven tresses looked like silk curtains as some of them came tumbling down to cover her face. She knew he was staring at her right now as she shyly took the cup of coffee settled in front of her.

She took a sip and it made her body tingle with warmth, "A-arigatou."

"No problem."

The silence surrounding them was killing her. She wrapped her hands around the mug as she tried to calm down. She was supposed to leave early to spare her this dilemma and now she was pressed to it without any alibi to present to him.

She took a deep breath and raised her head, "Um... La-Lavi?"

He was already looking at her even before she called his attention, "Hm?"

"A-about what happened... uh... last night you see... um...I was just trying to..." She kept pausing and stuttering that the words she wanted to say wouldn't come out. Hearing her tongue-tied state was driving her nuts but she still carried on.

"You see... I tried to wake you up and... and all of a sudden..."

"Rinali." Lavi called out her name so casually she almost spilled her coffee.

"Hai?"

He looked at her straight in the eye and it stayed that way for a while. While she was distracted by his gaze, he reached out his hand and brushed the stray strands of hair away from her face and neatly tucked them behind her ear. She felt her ears burn as lovely shades of pink colored her cheeks.

"Thanks for staying."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. He knows?! He remembers?! He was aware of what he did?! She looked up to him and from the looks of his face he already knew what was running around her mind.

Lavi took a sip of coffee and shrugged, "Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?" He said nonchalantly as he gave a mischievous grin. Rinali was rendered speechless as she took a sip of her coffee. She took a deep breath and summoned enough courage to look at him in the eye.

Her smile was as bright as the sun's rays behind her, "Your welcome."

Lavi returned the smile and was glad she wasn't nervous around him anymore. He rested his chin on the palm of his hand and continued to watch her.

"You know Rinali," The last phrase that she whispered to him last night echoed in his mind.

"Moments like these should be remembered by the two people involved, don't you think?"

Rinali couldn't suppress the smile on her face,

_Taking care of drunkards isn't so bad after all. _

* * *

Beer anyone? hehehe --, fluff much haha. R & R please and thank you! --, 


	4. Say

**Title: **Say

**Summary:** "All I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head."

**A/N:** I've finally finished writing a new one. --" I was planning on updating my stories as my birthday treat to everyone but school is turning out to be a real pain. --" Don't worry I think I'll be updating a lot faster this time I've got lots of ideas floating around I just need time to sit and type. aheheh --"

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL THOSE WHO'VE READ, REVIEWED and, ADDED THIS TO THEIR FAVORITES. :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the song "Say" this song belongs to One Republic it's a lovely song and I suggest you listen to it.

Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?

* * *

_Do you know where your heart is?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

Heart.

We were all born with it weren't we? It's quite a small and fragile thing and surprisingly flexible. It bends to your own will at the same time it bends upon the will of others. It holds all sorts of emotions capable of great deeds and at the same time incomprehensible madness. What the heart is really meant for pretty much depends on who holds the heart actually.

It doesn't sound like a small thing now does it?

It's so fragile.

I have one too at least I _**had**_ one.

I live anywhere I move my heart to, there's no place I return to…

My "place", my heart… isn't anywhere in this world….

_Or did you trade it for something, somewhere, better just to have it?_

The hidden history is passed from one person to another.

You know something that no one knows.

With just that I accepted becoming a Bookman.

Bookman.

No matter where I go with the old panda it's just battles, battles and more battles. The mundane routine of putting history down on paper is boring enough already. Why does history have to rotate on battles anyway? For a change of pace I hoped that maybe there's something more I could do than just record history. I hoped but I knew it would never happen.

Then the war against the Akumas came and it has been, by far, the biggest battle I've ever witnessed. Surprisingly it would make it the first time in my record that I became a soldier. I became an exorcist.

But I am still a Bookman.

The moment I took on being the successor I didn't need my heart.

The heart doesn't have anything to do with taking down history. It's history it becomes the past and that's how it becomes the inevitable. We have nothing to do with it because it was meant to happen. Nothing you do today can change what happened centuries past.

That's why you don't need to have a heart to take down history.

Ink doesn't talk to the writer…

Yet the writer is attached to the words on paper…

The places I've been to,

The events I've seen,

The words I've heard, and most especially…

The people I've met…

Are they really just ink on top of paper?...

Do I really have no use for a heart?...

_Do you know where your love is?_

_Do you think that you lost it?_

_You felt it so strong but nothing's, turned out how you want it_

Love?...

Well it comes in varying degrees and meanings doesn't it?

Take for example the love for duty.

As a Bookman I only wanted to know something that no one knew and maybe something that was never meant to be known. I only observed the wars that went around me. I watched people suffer, grieve and die. I watched and that was all it took, no more, no less.

I became part of The Black Order and I met the people and as I accepted missions I met more people. The world, despite me going around it lots of times with the old panda, seemed a lot bigger than it used to be. I got used to people. People got used to me. How I got used to it would remain a mystery to me.

As the war went on the battles became harsh and brutal. The numbers of casualties carried on but we have to keep on going. As I went on I felt a strange pang tugging me. As disturbing as it was I ignored it but then I came to the point where I couldn't ignore the pang tugging on me. It then dawned to me that something has changed.

I came to the point where I just can't stand and watch anymore…

I became attached.

And I became torn.

_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

"Don't be taken in by the war!! We were only in the order's side by "chance", all for the sake of recording history!!"

Gramp's words made me feel pain…

The moment we joined The Black Order I became frivolous and friendly as always. The time we've spent caught me off guard. A year, 2 years my time with The Order passed on and I soon came to the point where I didn't know if my smiling face was a lie or not. Like the Noah having their own little dysfunctional family of their own The Black Order became a "family" to me.

It pains me to think that one day I would have to go.

_'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold_

This "attachment" of mine… I'm pretty sure it started somewhere…

The first time I set my foot upon The Black Order's headquarters we met science section head Komui Lee. As much as I didn't want to point it out, the smile he gave us was a heavily plastered one just so he could welcome us. It seems our arrival had such a bad timing. Besides Komui's forced smile the heavy smell of anti-septic that was practically fogging up the headquarters told me that they're suffering a terrible loss.

It was a lost battle.

A glance at the scene below proved me right. At least a hundred coffins were lined up with candles lit that made the scene a lot grimmer. There were injured people as well; sadly they too are starting to look a lot like a lost cause. Then there were people shedding tears of deep anguish and grief.

That's when I first saw her.

Her dark hair messily cascaded itself upon her kneeling frame. I could spot the tiny drops of tears trickling down the floor as she grieved beside the coffin. With her back faced towards me I had a strange nagging urge to make her face me. And by stupid coincidence someone called out her name.

"Lenalee."

She was a beautiful disaster.

Despite the blood stained bandage wrapped around her forehead, the random scratches and bruises that adored her face and limbs and, her uniform with cuts and tears on it…

She was breathtakingly beautiful.

There was a spark as I felt those deep purple eyes gaze into my emerald ones.

It was those deep purple eyes that kept overflowing with tears that made a distasteful thug on my heart making a voice echo in my head. These coffins are products of the wars I observe from time to time. This grieving scenario is nothing new to me as well but as I stare into the deep purple eyes I heard the painful cries echoing inside of me and voice asking me something that never occurred to me…

_Well, all I need is the air I breathe and,_

_A place to rest my head_

Would anyone cry for me when I die?

Well there's probably a 99 chance that my cause of death would be due to the war.

Given the chance no matter how slim it may be…

I'd take the chance just so those deep purple eyes would shed tears for me…

And if I'm lucky she would even call out my name.

_Do you know what you're fate is?_

_And now you're trying to shake it?_

What I want to do and what I'm supposed to do…

Don't get me wrong I don't despise being a Bookman.

Why does the Bookman exist?

That simple question made being the 49th the hardest and different from the other 48. Then again it wasn't any different at all 48 and the 49th are just one and the same "me". For humans to change by themselves is hard and for they only start changing after getting involved with other humans.

I've changed.

If I could answer why the Bookman exist then maybe…

I'd know what I want to do and what I'm supposed to do…

_You're doing your best dance, your best look_

_You're praying that you'll make it_

I'm attached and there's no turning back on it now.

I knew it the moment I nearly threw a hundred people overboard just so they would let me go so I could find her out at sea.

Does she even know how much I wanted to turn the ocean upside down just to find her?

It's not even funny. It's a bad joke.

I wanted those deep purple eyes to shed tears for me when I'm on the brink of dying… I don't want it the other way around… Remembering what she looked like the first time I saw her made me more anxious to find her. When I finally found her protectively crystallized relief hadn't completely washed over me. It was only when she was freed and lying limp in my arms did I feel so relieved.

"Lavi?"

You were crying again and surprisingly you weren't the only one.

"Am I still in this world?"

I could only hold you so tight like it would be my last chance to do so.

"Idiot."

_Well bless my soul_

_You're a lonely soul_

_'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold_

Last thing I remembered I was in Road's Dream World where she delved into my thoughts and turned it into a living nightmare. When I came back to reality I was on a rampage and having a rather feisty battle with Allen. The best decision I could ever make was to take my attack and burn my own body… Which of course wasn't something the others would agree on…

"LAVI!!"

I felt so detached to my body that it felt strange. I could hardly move my limbs and my vision's turning red with all the flames I've set blazing around me. I could hardly breathe; I could feel the fumes engulf my lungs and I can't believe breathing could actually hurt.

"LAVI!!"

I've been hearing that voice echoing all the time. As much as I like listening to the sound of my name being screamed at the top of her lungs I'd pretty much prefer seeing her deep purple eyes and possibly a smile.

I felt like dying now.

"Lavi!!"

I felt numb even after Allen pulled me out of my own flames. I was alive and Allen felt like knocking the living daylights out of me because he thought I was complaining. I was laughing like there was no tomorrow because for some strange reason I felt really good.

Then I felt Lenalee's Loving Iron Fist and although it _**really hurts….**_

I felt really good.

_"Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head_

_Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"_

He woke up from his dream. He blinked and tried to recall when he started dreaming to begin with. His mind was pretty hazy with all the thoughts that ran through his mind and it took him a while to analyze where he was.

Although the weather is nice and bright his eyes were spared by the shade brought about by the willow tree hovering above him. He could hear the nearby river flowing just a few inches away from him. He then remembered that he came to this serene area a few meters away from The Order just to seek refuge every once in a while. As his fingers twitched he was reminded of the book he was clutching on his chest. There's just one thing he can't remember though…

He always had grass for his pillow.

Since when did grass become so soft?

Gales of laughter filled the air, "I'm sorry I disturbed you didn't I?"

_Do you think I can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it?_

_Do you think you can find it, better than you had it?_

I was lying on the lap of the woman who filled my thoughts.

I blinked but I couldn't move, "Wha-what??"

She shook off my confusion with laughter and stared at me, "Did you sleep well?" Her hair was slowly growing back now and I nodded in reply I just watched as the wind played with her hair and I stayed that way for a good number of minutes. Now if only the ground could split open and swallow me whole! What in hell's name am I doing?!

"How long have you been coming to this place Lavi?"

Ah, there goes the beautiful ringing of my name with her voice, "Quite some time now. Pretty neat refuge huh?"

"It's a really nice spot Lavi." I mentally slapped myself. What's going on here? I've defeated Road right? This isn't another dream isn't it? 'Cause if it is…

Then can you let me sleep a little while longer?

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just I thought a library is the only place where "Lavi" can be "Lavi"."

I raised a brow, "What do you mean?"

She stared down at me momentarily then stared up at the sky, "I get the strange feeling that there's this distance that you've set between us."

Always the sensitive one… I took a deep breath and I felt strangely uneasy.

"Is it really hard?"

"What is?"

"Being… Being a Bookman."

Ladies and Gentlemen somebody finally popped me the question…

Unconsciously I waited for someone to ask me this and mentally "No" would come out of my mouth so fluidly like I've rehearsed it a hundred times. Now that someone finally asked me the question my mentally rehearsed reply which has been playing over and over sudden came to ruins.

I don't want them to realize how cold a bastard I really can be…

Why do you ask?

I'm already attached remember?

Who in his sane mind would actually abandon a chance to be in a "family"?

I tried to find the right words hoping I wouldn't have to explain myself further, "It's something different entirely. There are some things that just can't be."

Silence enveloped us and for a mind numbing moment she finally nodded, "I see."

I laughed, "What no follow-up questions?"

She smiled, "Maybe next time, I think I've asked enough. I do have one favor though."

"Which is?"

"Do you mind if we stay like this for a while?"

It took a while for me to register what she just said. I was actually expecting her to extract an oath from me which makes me tell the truth and nothing but the truth. I won't deny two things: One, my hypersensitivity radar is activated on scanning people working for Komui or the Sister-Complex himself because if word gets out about this scene I'll be digging my grave.

Second: I won't deny the fact that I like the position we're in.

Damn it. I'm doomed aren't I?

"I don't if you don't."

Then you smiled, "Thank you."

_Do you know where the end is?_

_Do you think you can see it?_

"Why?"

She knew what I meant and smiled, "You needed a place to rest your head don't you?"

Holy Akuma I really am doomed aren't I?

I closed my eyes, "How long can we stay like this then?"

She tapped a finger on her chin, "Hm… As long as I could still feel my legs."

We laughed and we had a moment of silence.

If I told her everything about who I am I wonder how would she take it?

Wait, am I even going to tell her?

One's thing for sure though:

She won't ask me to choose between being a Bookman or an Exorcist.

She won't ask me to choose between being a Bookman and staying with her.

But if I finally found the answer I'm looking for… I know that I'll be doing something I want and not something that I'm supposed to do. Maybe I can finally find the answers piece by piece. Time isn't in my control but I believe I'll have plenty of that. I want to take my time and make sure I wouldn't waste time regretting on anything.

Starting now…

_Well, until you get there, go on, go ahead and scream it_

"Say, Lenalee…"

"Hm?"

I spoke words that felt like they were waiting to be said all my life.

Her eyes twinkled as they widened.

I'm starting to regret what I did. Stupid Lavi.

The suspense is killing you?

Well imagine what its doing to me right now.

Then she smiled, I smiled back and she bent down...

And whispered words like I was meant to hear them all my life...

_Just say..._

* * *

(sighs) I find this paring really adorable. .XD Ahaha anyway thank you so much for waiting and reading. R & R pls and thank you. .

* * *


	5. So Close

**Title: **So Close

**Summary:** "So close, so close, yet still so far." LaviLenalee

**A/N:** This has been long made before I could remember! w I can't believe I only finished it now despite the fact that i'm heartbroken all I could think of is actually writing sap!! --"

Dedicated to: Julye-chan. I am very flattered by your review. This is thanks. I was really happy reading it thank you so much... :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL THOSE WHO'VE READ, REVIEWED and, ADDED THIS TO THEIR FAVORITES. :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the song "So Close" this song belongs to Jon McLaughlin it's a FANTASTIC song and I suggest you listen to it.

Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?

* * *

For a Bookman who lived his life as the spectator of others lives, an observer of age old wars, a nomad who travelled far and wide, they were gifted with a memory so vast that the word "forgot" is a foreign term in their vocabulary.

But right now under what seems to be a ballroom scene from a fairytale, Lavi, Bookman's successor, is dancing along with the many other couples on the dance floor. The first thing he could not remember is what and why is he dressed in what he is in right now. Dressed in a sleek black tuxedo, his bandana nowhere in sight as he allowed the stray strands of his hair to stumble across his face, his feet moved reluctantly but carefully as not to step on his partner's feet which would lead to the second thing he could not remember.

He couldn't remember how he ended up dancing with Lenalee.

"Lavi?"

His thoughts were cut short as he looked down at the amethyst eyes of his dance partner. Her amethyst orbs were swirling with curiosity and all his emerald eyes could do was wince in reply.

She tipped her head slightly to the side as her gaze shifted to a couple not to far behind them, "Krory's learning pretty fast isn't he?"

He glanced over his shoulder to the person in question and found that their Dracula-look-a-like friend was indeed learning pretty fast. He really should though; the waltz is pretty simple after all even if your dance partner is Miranda.

His gaze fell back to the amethyst orbs, "Took him long enough."

She smiled, "You're not bad at this yourself, have you been dancing before?"

"I've only observed people before I've never tried it."

"Really?"

"You're not bad yourself."

"Never done it in public though."

"That makes both of us."

"Oh."

_You're in my arms  
And all the world is calm  
The music playing on for only two_

Her silky raven tresses were let loose tonight and they gleamed together with her dark emerald gown. Her gentle grace made it seem like she was floating and Lavi had to orient himself several times that his feet was plastered to the ground. Having noted this made him feel uneasy and that's when he noted the silence enveloping them and the lyrics of the current song was biting him and making him quite uneasy. He decided to break the ice.



"You're brother won't kill me for this won't he?"

Her laughter broke the ice and his ears concentrated on listening to something else, "I gave him an idea of what he should expect today although I'm not quite sure he understands it."

He smirked, "That wasn't very reassuring now wasn't it?" And just for fun he playfully twirled her outward and back in again then back to their original position, his hands resting on her waist, her hand resting on his shoulder and, their free hands holding each other.

Her laughter echoed in his ears like tiny bells, "I told you the truth! That's reassuring enough!"

He mocked a pout, "Then you shouldn't have said anything."

"What would you want me to say?"

"That you'll handle things when worse comes to worse."

"I'm afraid I'm not dressed for it." She paused and he noted that her voice toned down, "You got us into this predicament in the first place."

He was taken aback by what she just said, _I did?_

_So close together  
And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive_

Lavi took his time retracing his steps. Minutes ago he was like every other laid back guy staying at the corners of the room with either no reason or no partner to dance. He was standing next to Krory who was going all sentimental about wasting this time not being able to dance. Lavi teased him asking him about whom he was going to dance with, that got Krory all quiet until he caught sight of Miranda. Lavi never expected Krory would actually have the courage to ask her but he did. What happened next was quite pathetic seeing that Krory doesn't know much about dancing and being a being a friendly hero Lavi stepped in and guided Krory with the basics.

Lavi found the task a little too difficult for his liking since Miranda's quite clumsy and Krory's still learning. That's when Lenalee conveniently showed up and offered to help out as well. With Lavi paired with Lenalee and Krory paired with Miranda it was a lot easier to teach the latter pair. Then without them knowing they were mixed with the sea of couples dancing and that's how they ended up together in the middle of the dance floor.

"If I remember correctly you offered to be my partner?"

She raised a brow with an amused grin on her face, "Are you accusing me?"

"I didn't say anything, you implied." Lavi said with a smirk. Lenalee attempted to stomp on his feet for that comment but he already anticipated that and evaded with ease.

"My, my, what manners for a lady."



"I'm sorry I'll make sure to work with my aim next time."

"I'm afraid there will be no next time." Lavi chuckled and Lenalee laughed along with her. Silence came along once again and they were left enveloped in the uncomfortable silence they were trying to avoid earlier. It was painfully obvious actually that the small talk wasn't helping and that they really wanted to talk about something else.

"Lavi?"

She quickly caught his attention just by calling out his name, "Hm?"

"I can tell you don't like what you're wearing." She paused and looked up to him trying to read the expression on his face, "The tuxedo suits you." He grinned inwardly and decided to tease her.

"It looks good?"

"Very good."

"Really good?"

"I told you it suits you didn't I?"

"Haven't heard what I wanted to hear."

"You…" She looked down and her silky tresses covered up the blush on her face, "Look really handsome tonight." She was always honest about everything she says. It's funny to see that she's squirming in front of him right now.

"Lenalee." It was his turn to catch her attention.

"Hm?"

"You make the gown look really special." She was just staring at him but he couldn't ignore the cute shades of pink.

"You're beautiful tonight."

It came out really simple but his voice dripped with sincerity.

"Thank you."

_A life goes by  
Romantic dreams will stop  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew_

'_Here comes the silence again…'_ Lavi could almost bite his tongue in annoyance. This isn't like him at all, getting tongue-tied with nothing much to say. Still he was at ease; at least Lenalee's not avoiding him anymore. She's been avoiding him like a plague for a week already and since everybody pitched in for the ball's preparations he hardly found the time or the chance to try and talk to her. He honestly doesn't know why.



Lavi sighed inwardly… He can't leave things this way. After all the chances of seeing them again would be slim to nothing…

"_I see. It can't be helped I suppose… I was hoping you could stay a little while longer." Komui Lee forced a smile on his face but obviously it wouldn't stay so to hide it he picked his cup and sipped it… even though there was nothing in it._

"_It was only by chance Supervisor. I'm afraid there's no reason for us to stay anymore." Bookman said without any hint of regret. Lavi felt Komui's eyes falling heavily on him. Lavi caught his gaze momentarily and he couldn't describe what it was._

_It's like he wanted to ask him a favor…_

"_At least…" Komui spoke up with hesitation in his voice but he continued anyway, "At least stay for one more week, until the ball is over. After all we're celebrating a victory and the credit isn't entirely ours. You've both done your part."_

"_Isn't that right Lavi?"_

_He didn't know how to answer. Was he supposed to answer? Either way he felt a smile carving his features and he didn't know if it was a bad or good thing. He is pretty sure of one thing though._

_He'd like to stay._

_He'd like that very much._

Lenalee kept her eyes pasted to the ground. Although she won't admit that her neck is killing her already she doesn't want to get lost in the gaze of emerald orbs. When she thought about it she winced as she mentally slapped herself. Her thoughts were at disarray until now, not knowing how much of what she heard would she believe…

_She was leaning behind the wall just beside the wall with a tray of mugs filled with fresh coffee for four. The extra one would be hers by the way. She was looking forward to exchanging stories with them over a cup of coffee._

_She was leaning pretty hard and she felt that the wall was going to budge. Crying? It sounded like a pretty sane thing to do but something else has been swelling up inside her and it's burning up pretty badly._

_Her ears perked up as she heard that their conversation was almost over. And so it was there that she pretended she didn't overhear anything at all._

_Lavi was the first one to emerge from the door, "Oh Lenalee, we were just…"_

_Lenalee with a forced smile handed over the tray, "Here I thought you might need some."_

"_A-ah thanks."_

_She smiled and turned her back before her smile disappeared from her face, "Yeah."_



"There were four mugs."

She was clearly surprised but she knew what he meant, "Huh?"

"Why didn't you enter?"

_So close with waiting  
Waiting here with you  
And now forever I know_

_Don't be taken in by the war! We were only by The Order's side by "chance" all for the sake of recording history! Do not be attached._

The old panda's magic words. It was all he needed to say for him to be reminded of who he was and what he was meant to be. Lately those words are losing its pull on him. It's a do or die situation.

"How much have you heard?"

She wouldn't look up at him but he knew he assumed right.

"Why are you leaving?"

Finally her amethyst orbs turned its gaze to his emerald orbs.

_We were only by The Order's side by "chance"…_

"We were only here by chance… There's no reason anymore…"

His voice sounded so distant. It's like he wasn't standing with her right now.

"The Bookman's Chance…"

She wouldn't ask him to choose between being a Bookman and an Exorcist. He knows how huge this woman's heart was and ironically it was so fragile as well. He cringed as he watched her eyes stare at the ground. _Here comes the waterworks…._ He was supposed to laugh at his own joke but it's not something to laugh at.

He absolutely _**hates**_ it… usually because it wasn't for him.

_All that I want is_

_To hold you_

_So close_

_No kidding she's really crying?!_ Lav panicked. He actually wasn't expecting this. "H-Hey you're not crying are you?" He shook her gently so she would look up to him but her stare remained plastered to the ground.

"Lenalee?"

She turned her head to the side and allowed her hair to curtain her face, "What?"



"You're crying?" He gently pulled her closer as he attempted to look at her face. She resisted by staring at the ground again.

"You really are crying aren't you?" Although it wasn't a good time to show amusement Lavi can't help but point out that her stubbornness is cute.

"I'm not crying you idiot!"

"Are these really for me?"

Embarrassed she puffed her cheeks as she looked up at him and scowled, "Who else would I be crying for you idiot!!"

Surprised at the sudden outburst he allowed himself to grin. As much as she tried to stop the tears from falling some of them managed to escape as they trickled down her cheeks. He raised his hand and gingerly wiping the tears from her face.

Obviously he caught her off guard as she felt her flinch, "Thank you…"

_So close_

_To reaching that famous happy ending_

_Almost believing this one's not pretend_

_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come…._

"Idiot! What kind of person makes a girl cry and thanks her for it?!" Furiously she wiped her tears as she hid the small smile on her face. The mood suddenly became a lot lighter and conversing seems a lot easier.

He frowned and turned away, "Do I have to point that out?"

"Thank you for your honesty, Lavi."

He turned to face her and as she spoke it was as if there was a strange glow surrounding her, "I'm not as straightforward as you. That day when I overheard that you were leaving I gripped the tray so hard to keep myself from barging inside and asking why…"

He felt like a traitor. He and Bookman were even planning to leave without a word…"Lenalee…"

"That's why I felt so mad that you were even leaving without a word but without thinking it's probably a lot heavier for you… I'm sorry for I got mad without considering how you felt…"

"No you don't have to--"

"But you know what? I…" She stopped and Lavi felt her fingers fidget.

"I'm really happy you stayed for the ball…"

He was going deaf.

He could hear his heart beating so loudly he swore it's going to break his ears.



He was rendered speechless and prayed so hard that she wouldn't hear it.

Oh and besides going deaf he's about to go blind as well.

The goddess before him is smiling just for him.

Next thing you know he's going to die of a heart attack.

"Yeah… I'm glad I did."

_So far_

_We are_

_So close_

It was one of those days…

You've had them once before.

The feeling that you're all alone and that the world is revolving without you in it; No it isn't lonely, it's somewhat calming and refreshing. The feeling that you can start all over again and you'd wake up to realize that everything is falling into place.

Ah imagine that feeling when you're with that special someone.

It's the feeling that all eyes are staring at you waiting for the two of you to give away the lines that they're expected to say. The audience is disappointed though because the two of you prefer things to stay the way they are. They're disappointed but they respect your decision. After all it's your decision and all we can do is support you two…

"Right Komui-san?!" Johnny said with a teasing tone as he watched his boss struggle from the chains that were used to stop him from wreaking havoc.

"LET ME GO!! LET ME GO!! MY PRECIOUS LENALEE!!" The sister complex was in a raging fit and there was nothing he can do about it.

Reever sighed together with the other science section members, "Johnny I told you to stop the narrations didn't I?"

"What?? I think it's called for!!" Johnny said as he dreamily stared back at the couple that was being specially mentioned. "Besides this can also be a speech of persuasion to Komui-san!"

"I know..." Komui whispered silently and all the science section members were rendered speechless.

"Lena-jou is happy after all." All heads turned as they recognized the old Bookman's voice. It was a small smile but everyone saw it even Komui. Bookman just nodded, "He's going to make her very happy."

"BUT NOT NOW!! I CAN'T ACCEPT IT JUST YET!! LET ME GO!! LET ME GO!!" Everyone just sighed as they watched the Sister-Complex squirm and rant his way out of the chains.

_Oh how could I face the faceless days_

_If I should lose you now…_

"You… could still come and visit right??"

Lavi mentally sighed. That's going to be hard. Considering the hard grip and training he's receiving from the old panda it sounds impossible.

"It's impossible huh?" Lenalee commented as she read the dread written all over Lavi's face.

"How about letters?"

She beamed, "Letters are perfect."

"I could come but it's not going to be considered a visit though…" He said with a shy smile plastered to his face.

"Huh?"

"It's going to take some time but in order for that to happen there's something I want you to do." A mischievous smile taking over the previous shy smile.

She raised a brow in curiosity, "What is it?"

_We're so close_

_To reaching that famous happy ending_

_Almost believing this one's not pretend _

_Let's go on dreaming even though we aren't_

"I want to come back… Although I can't tell when or if that's even possible."

The expression on her face was dampened but that was expected but she understood as she nodded.

"If there's one thing I can promise you, I'll do everything I can so I could be a step closer to coming back. And now I'm asking you to do the impossible which is…" He was stopped as a finger tapped his lips and making him shut up.

"I'll wait." She said with a soft smile and that was enough.

"I'd like that… And when I come back can you?..."

Was it just her or did he slowly pulled her closer to him?

"Can I what?"

"Wait by the door like you always do and…"

Was it just him or did just felt her tiptoe?

"Do the thing which you usually do."

"Which is?"



Was it just her or is his face coming a little closer?

"Welcoming."

"Oh you mean 'Welcome home Lavi?'"

Was it just him or is her breathing close for comfort?

"Yeah I'd like that a lot. A hug that would come with it sounds nice too."

"Uh-huh."

"I don't mind surprises as well."

"I'm sure I'll come up with something."

"Yeah I know you can promise me that but I just want to make sure you will."

"Oh, well same goes to you right?"

"We could make a contract."

"We don't have a pen or paper right now."

"Oh, I think I know something that would _compensate_ for that…"

_So close_

_So close_

_Yet still so far…_

And like any fairytale…

Although it's not yet happily ever after…

Like every other ball…

It ended with a kiss…

* * *

Obviously inspired by the ball scene from the movie "Enchanted." What can I say I can't help it!! XD R & R please and thank you mwah!!


	6. Pages

**Pages**

**Summary:** "What you hear and what you see is the truth. Since it's me we're talking about… you have to read it for yourself."

**Special Thanks to: GeoMill, silverfire113, .simplicity, Julye loves Lavi, KaraxLavi13, Hajimari, and .EverLastingFun., **Thanks so much for reviewing on my last chapter. I'd like you to know that I haven't stopped this fic. I've been under really intense recovery and I'm so glad I could use my right hand again. Your reviews mean so much to me! bows Thanks a lot!

**Disclaimer:** Look if I owned this I wouldn't be here writing this, this would actually happen in the series! But sadly I don't own so you don't sue okay?

* * *

I like being around Lenalee-san.

No, it's not like that. I don't like Lenalee-san in the way all of you are probably thinking right now.

I wouldn't dare be part of the competition.

"Johnny are you sure that it's this way?"

I beamed at her and nodded, "Yup, I'm sure about this Lenalee-san." I've actually lost count on how many flight of stairs have we ascended on but since I'm used to what our destination looks like it doesn't matter. Lenalee-san said nothing as she tipped her head from side to side and I caught a glimpse of her lips curling into a small smile. I wonder what song is she mentally humming right now.

Lenalee-san has a habit of serving coffee not only to Komui-san but, to everybody in the Science Section during the days that she isn't assigned to any mission. Reever-san scolded her several times that she should take the time for herself and relax but she would just shrug and say "I am". I understand Reever-san for reprimanding her though. An exorcist really shouldn't bother herself with trivial things such as serving coffee but this has probably been deeply rooted in her so there's no use reprimanding her I guess. We're embarrassed but we're thankful for it. We really are.

Lenalee-san is just too caring.

In my opinion, due to the type of person that she is, she needs someone to take care of her. Aside from Komui-san's inhumane proportion of sister-complex watching over her. I think Lenalee-san needs something a little more personal.

He who dares goes against The Sister-Complex himself must be insane beyond proportions.

I swear I'd praise that person whoever he was.

"I never knew that there was a library high up here."

"I wouldn't know it myself until Reever-san asked me to do several favors for him."

I'm looking for Lavi-san by the way. The library we're headed to is where I commonly find him. I just happen to bump into Lenalee-san who decided to join me since she had nothing better to do. I told her that I'm very fascinated with Lavi-san. I like hearing his stories and experiences around the world. His journeys were brief but whenever he tells about it he never misses a detail. He makes you feel that you've been there before too. Lavi-san has an amazing array of knowledge of a number of languages as well. He's usually at the library at this time.

"I hope we're not disturbing him though." I murmured as my fingers fidgeted.

Lenalee-san shook her head, "Lavi would be happy to have company."

The dark-oak wood door towered on us as I gripped on the doorknob. The door never fails to intimidate me and I think Lenalee-san is intimidated too. She stepped back a little as she watched me open the door.

We were greeted by a draft that carries the smell of aging paper and worn out ink. It had a strange comforting feel to it the kind you get when you're searching around your attic in hopes of finding something really nostalgic. It was generally dark but the huge door like window at the end of the library had its curtain shifted a little in order allowing some light to crawl into the room. Still the library was practically lit by large spiral-shaped candles that flicker only when the doors are open. I urged Lenalee-san to enter and she was in awe at the towering bookshelves practically planted in the library's interior. Of course the most essential part is all the scattered papers that serve as tiles on the floor.

She chuckled as she went around, "This is no different from Lavi's room! You can hardly find anything around here!"

I nodded, "It also reminds me of our office."

She laughed some more, "Lavi! Are you in here?"

Silence is a general rule in a library but this library itself is an exception.

"He might've fallen asleep or buried somewhere Lenalee-san. Is it alright for us to split up and look for him?"

She instantly nodded and we went our separate ways.

I've been here couple of times before and it baffles me as to why I can't seem to remember where Lavi-san always lingered in the library. As I walk through halls and halls of bookshelves it made me wonder if Lavi-san have read everything in this library. I was told by Komui-san before that this was a special library. In fact it's supposed to be restricted because it held books and documents only a number of Central's staff knew. Not even Komui-san read much about the books and documents in here. Lavi-san was special because he's a Bookman.

Just how hard is it to record history? I wonder what kind of training Lavi-san had to endure just to train his memory for it. It sounds so harsh having to go around and record one piece of history after the other. Lavi-san must have a really strong heart as well as a stomach just to endure every part of it. I actually have lots of things I'd want to ask about Lavi-san.

I could sense it the day he first came here and I naively asked for his measurements so I could make his uniform.

Lavi-san is awkward around us.

Makes me wonder if he's used to having us around.

Maybe being around people isn't really part of being a Bookman at all…

I blinked and realized where I was headed. It was a small room where I usually find Lavi-san. The huge door like windows came from this room and it was only now that I realized that the door was slightly opened. I slowly approached the door and peeked just to see if he was around.

The room was so bright and what I saw wasn't a mistake.

I saw pearl-shaped drops of water dropping itself on aging paper.

It scared me so much that I panicked and ran out of the room.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I don't find questions offensive.

Questions, no matter how underhanded they may be, are the only way you can get answers. Answers, whether you'd like to hear them or not, are attainable only by asking the right questions.

My past is very questionable and I'm quite aware of that.

Everyone's past is questionable actually and everyone's aware of that as well. Its how one manages to keep it and act like it's no big deal makes one's past mysterious and amazingly, ignorable. And that's when people start jumping into conclusions.

Perceptions never cease to amuse me, seeing that it varies from one person to another. Of course I have my own variations depending on whom or what we're talking about not forgetting the fact that I'm innately observant since my duty requires me to be such. Take for example Yuu's perception of Allen. Allen is too young to have white hair, too short for a guy his age and, too kind to be cut off as an Exorcist. All of which would lead to why Yuu calls him a "bean sprout" since "growing" is something Allen should really catch up on. Plus when the sprouts are young they're white right? That explains the white hair. It is in this area why I agree with Yuu in calling Allen a bean sprout.

Being called "Bookman Jr." is definitely no child's play seeing that history in itself is recorded by you and in you. Given the perception of "normal", people would see it as something wordlessly amazing or simply see me as an "akuma" since such a feat sounds really impossible. Obviously the latter perception of me would either annoy or bother me then again in the end I won't care.

This cannot be denied. One would always wonder how he is perceived by those around them.

I, for one, will not deny that fact.

Incidentally I'm proving it right now.

Johnny, one of the youngest members of the Science Section group, was screaming my name and knocking on my room like his life depended on it. The moment I opened the door he collapsed on his knees in front me. His breathing is really harsh which tells me he's been running several flights of stairs already. His sweat was trickling down like rain water, with that I could tell that his stamina is not that good. To think that I was just in my room the whole time made me feel a little guilty. Finding me must be really urgent. Too bad I don't have a glass of water.

"La-La—vi…"

I kneeled down for him, "Easy Johnny catch your breath first alright?" He nodded meekly then took a deep breath.

A nagging feeling is hanging at the back of my head and I suddenly I felt uneasy, "Johnny what's wrong?"

"I don't--- I don't know--- why---" It didn't seem to bother him that he hadn't completely caught his breath, "But she… she's crying."

She…

I've seen it…

More than once…

I can actually sympathize with the stage of panic that he is in now. I know very well what it feels. I've felt that more than once and it triggered various emotions even I didn't realize existed. Like a bullet train with passengers in a hurry to get in, questions lined up in my mind. Was she wounded? Did she break a bone or something? Or maybe she got into an argument? But with whom? Wait is Leverrier here on an unexpected visit? What the hell is that guy's problem with her anyway? What did she get herself into this time?

My train of thoughts broke as I heard Johnny taking a real, deep breath.

"Where did you come from anyway Johnny?" The poor kid is suffering oxygen deprivation real bad.

"Your library."

I blinked as I thoughtfully registered what he said, "What were you doing there?"

"We were looking for you and it was the first place I thought of to look for you. The library was so wide we split up then I found her in the room you were usually in… She was standing in front of your study carrel with her head bowed down and she was… she was…"

"Crying." I finished and he nodded hysterically.

"I feel so bad Lavi-san. What if she saw something she didn't want to see? Or wasn't supposed to see?"

I felt a strange pang crippling me all of the sudden. If she really is standing in front of my study carrel like Johnny said she was then… A sad realization washed over me and I gave my hand out to Johnny so he could stand.

"You're right Johnny. She probably didn't want to see it. Given the chance she wouldn't want to read it either…"

He stared at me with confused eyes scanning my face for answers but he knew he wouldn't be able to find one anyway.

"Please see her Lavi-san."

It goes without saying my dear friend.

I'm about to substitute Johnny from his mile long marathon when a small nagging thought behind my mind popped out. I took a step forward and my back faces him as I allowed myself to voice the thought that popped out for me.

"Why me?"

It's a logical question isn't it? I mean everyone here at The Order knows that Lenalee has a brother. It's in people's nature to call the closest relative of an upset or troubled person right? If not a relative it would usually be the closest person to her. Said closest people to her are beings like fellow female Miranda, or close friends like Allen or Reever.

Who does he think I am?

"Lavi-san…"

Instead I felt the little guys hand give the push that could've cost him his life.

"For her sake, who do you want to be?"

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I don't will for it to happen.

Crying is as natural as breathing for me.

Yes, I know and I'm aware of it.

But I don't will for it to happen.

I don't.

There's this strangling pain that builds up inside me and it causes me to tremble so badly that I've got to let it out of my system somehow. It's so terrible that it's suffocating. I've probably done this ever since I could remember… All those nightmarish nights I've spent in my childhood… Crying was probably the most sensible thing I've done before my brother came for me.

I didn't will for it to happen. But before I knew it my eyes felt warm and pools of water started to form around my eyes.

I was helping Johnny look for Lavi when I stumbled into this small room at the end of the library. The door was slightly opened and I could see stray rays of the afternoon sunlight crawling out from the room. It was too bright that I couldn't focus my gaze on anything as I peeked. I slowly entered the room instead hoping to see signs of the red-hair.

I stared. No wonder it was so bright in this room. The windows were as large and as wide as the door of this library! The windows were slightly opened and I could feel a nice blow of fresh breeze and some leaves were blown in as well. The smell was quite distinct from the one outside. It still had the nostalgic hold but somehow there was a distinct spice that rose above it. It vaguely reminds me of someone's perfume. The room was a little tidier compared to the one outside. The bookcases were situated only on the walls but the floor still had the same scattered sheets of paper serving as tiles.

It felt strange. I had a feeling that something in this room is calling out to me.

_Find me…_

My eyes however rested on a lone study carrel at the farthest corner of the room. An antique looking chair was stationed as its partner. The study carrel was as messy as my brother's table; at least the ink bottle is at the corner so it wouldn't spill just in case a strong wind blew in. I traced the faint traces of scratched out candle wax that faintly reminded me of wine.

And that's when the calling stopped.

That's when my eyes felt warm and pools of water started to form around my eyes.

My fingers seemed to flitter as I tried to get a hold of its edges. It was open and it looked so old.

_Child_

I winced as the first word registered to me. Despite its attempts to look neat, the penmanship looked frail and scrawny.

Nostalgic as it may seem, it looked like a child's handwriting.

_Blind-freak. Cocky brat. Insolent little thing._

_I know how many times I've been called that. I also know how many times a kid would call me that in a day, a week, and a month. If I try I can even know how many times a kid would call me that in a year. Adults would call me that once in a while too. Maybe I should try remembering how many times adults would call me that in a day, a week and a month. If I try I can even know how many times they would call me that in a year too._

_Yes I know._

_I really do. I've been taught to._

_But it's strange._

'

_I know it. I really do._

_Why can't I write it down?_

The scribbles started to slant in various directions and even if it was written in different ways it still belonged to the child.

It was like the child wanted to emphasize that the thoughts he wrote down came from different people.

_Cocky brat thinks he knows everything!_

_**Kids these days think they're so mature!**_

_Insolent little thing aren't you? Do you honestly think you have a place with adults?!_

_**You're naïve as you are young and stupid as you are blind! What do you know that we don't?!**_

_I wonder…_

_What do other children have that I don't?_

_I'm still a kid so…_

_What makes me different?_

_Why can't I be seen like the other kids?_

_Since when did being "ordinary" become so hard?_

A sneaky creak was easily heard due to the deafening silence.

"You know he's all grown up right now."

A gentle breeze mingled with the autumn scent entered from the opened window.

"You know him?"

"Well yeah, after all I am grown up."

She took a deep breath but held her silence as she gently dropped the book down on the carrel as she clenched her fists.

"Won't you turn this way?"

He stepped down from the window sill. At first he hesitated but before he knew it his hand was already resting on her shoulder but only her head turned to face him. Her brows are furrowed and furious, her cheeks were flushed and looked like they were slightly puffed out and of course, the part he wouldn't miss, the amethyst orbs were drowned drowning.

They were drowning all over again.

It caught Lavi off guard but he waved it off with a gentle smile.

Lenalee was finding it very hard to resist, "A-are you sure?"

In reply the hand that was staying on her shoulder fell to the small of her back and with swift and gentle force, made her body face him and was now faced against his chest. As his other hand buried itself under the silk like locks he lowered his head and whispered something against her ear. "Thank you."

Her crying was as natural as her breathing.

_Flashback_

_Far-away and uneasy._

_She knew that look in his eyes the first time he set into headquarters. In fact she was so familiar with it that she couldn't detach herself from it all. She decided to ask just in case. They were at her brother's office and she was pouring coffee._

"_Nii-san…"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Lavi's quite awkward isn't he?"_

_He stared from his coffee cup, "How come?"_

_She plopped down to the nearest chair as she raised her legs to hug her knees. "He… just doesn't seem comfortable around us Nii-san. It's been a month already. Do you think we did something to make him feel uncomfortable?"_

_Komui thoughtfully stared at his coffee cup, "I think Lavi's just uncomfortable around people…" He paused as he sipped his coffee, "In fact he reminds me of you don't you think?"_

_End of flashback_

Thinking back then I didn't understand what my brother meant. Instead it bothered me as to why Lavi was uncomfortable to people. Obviously he had no problems befriending everybody including me, Allen, Krory, Miranda and even Kanda. It was only until when we were further thrown into missions that could cost our lives that I realized that there really was a distance after all. I kind of understood why my brother said that you remind him of me.

After my brother came to the Black Order he helped me struggle to put myself back together. I had to accept the fact that I'd be working side by side with the Black Order despite the things they've put me through. My brother took his time in helping me trust them little by little until I've finally learn to put faith in someone else other than my brother.

When I realized that you kept your distance from us it felt so different compared to mine.

It felt as if you were doing it on purpose.

The harsh part of it was that it is actually a part of who you are.

To be honest I'm actually relieved that despite writing down the history of the world you can write your "own history" too. I guess writing is one of the few things you've always been honest with. But after I read just the first few pages I felt the strangled pain bundle up all over again and there's only one way to get it out of my system. I'm starting to hate it right now. These are one of the times were it feels uncontrollable. But I know that this isn't for me and that I was giving it my all.

It startled me that her sobs suddenly became a little stronger and uncontrollable. I hugged her a little tighter and sighed, "Lenalee, just so you know it's over already."

As I came here via the fastest way I know of, which is using my hammer, I've mentally rehearsed lots of lines on what to say when I see you the way Johnny left you. And the only concrete thought that I had in mind was to apologize to you. It was something that you didn't have to see out of the blue.

She buried herself on my chest as her voice quivered, "S-shut up. I'm not crying for the grown up you know!"

I know…

"You know… That little boy didn't know how to cry."

I felt her raise her head slightly, "He didn't?"

I shook my head and for a moment my eyes rested on the book that was left opened on the carrel. Looking back now I started to remember how much I had to struggle just to write for myself. To answer to that is this: It simply doesn't make any sense. To write history, the pages that only I would know, only has room for the selfish witness. One who doesn't have a shred of care or subjectivity for the world.

_Bookman doesn't need a heart._

As a child I understood something as trivial as that. I never said I accepted it. Those two words pass off as different things. Thus the birth of the log that made the woman in my arms cry. I felt her completely burying her face in my chest.

"You don't have to apologize."

I paused. I wonder if you felt the guilt that just twisted around me just now. Not to mention I owe Johnny probably two tanks of oxygen for running like mad and telling me everything about it.

"_Lavi-san, for her sake who do you want to be?"_

I took a deep breath.

That's the easiest question anyone has ever asked me.

I want to be myself.

"I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you until you finish the whole log."

She raised her head and her amethyst orbs met mine. Tears and confusion clearly reflected in her orbs.

"What you hear and what you see is the truth. Since it's me we're talking about… you have to read it for yourself."

Lenalee looked at me long and hard. I had to gulp. If there's one thing I hate about these kinds of confrontations it's the part where your confidence suddenly sinks out on you when you've said the most heartfelt line your heart could ever conjure and the initial reply you get is deadly silence. If silence could kill I'm swimming in the pool of my own doom.

I just can't take it.

I slowly guided her towards the study carrel, picked up the log book. I let her sit down on the chair and I set myself by her side. The log book lay limp on her lap and once again she looked at me long and hard. She raised her hand and I watched it shiver as she tried t o open the book back where she stopped. I rested my hand on her shoulder and pressed it reassuringly, "It's alright."

And finally after the long the deadly silence she looked up at me to smile.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

We listened to the sound of our footsteps echoing as we down the stairs. Lenalee suppressed a small yawn and I could only chuckle. Who knew that we'd end up at the library until 4 o'clock in the morning reading, laughing, sharing experiences and asking questions? I don't know how to describe the feeling of having someone to share your "history" with.

One thing's for sure, I've never felt so open in my entire life.

I'll really have to savor the moment…

"Oh yeah… There was an entry I forgot to ask about."

"What was it?"

"There was this character named "Weak Light", is it someone I know?"

I winced and my heart started to panic… It came from the battle in Road's Dream.

_It was pure nostalgia. We were in the boat headed towards the Black Order's Headquarters. The old panda was lecturing me again together with the other Lavi. I had to endure every fact that they pointed out. The truths about being a Bookman. At first I thought I was doing well until the other "Lavi" spoke up._

"_You poison the hearts inside both people and demons…"_

_I heard another movement in the water. And it wasn't our boat._

"_Your eye of the past… Wasn't it lit up with that weak light?"_

_My heart stopped and my breathing hitched as I saw your body floating in a coffin…_

"_What's the matter Lavi? Isn't that just a small piece of history?"_

"A moron from the past said she was just a small piece of history."

She yawned again, "Moron?"

I studied her carefully. I paused as I thought of what to say to her so she would stop asking about it. Just a little more and I can drop her off in her room.

"Well he was a moron after all. He didn't know what he was talking about."

Her steps were wobbling so I had to pull her closer to make sure she didn't trip or fall. "Who was he talking about anyway?"

I didn't answer.

I heard a small chuckle, "Is she really a small part of history?"

"You look like you would fall anytime now. You should've agreed to my offer of using the shortcut." My eyes gleamed as I glanced to the side. Perfect, a wide window that could fit two people. Her eyes suddenly widened in horror as she realized what was running in my mind. "LAVI!!! DON'T YOU DARE----"

Ha. Ha. Too late.

Using the hammer was the fastest thing to get up and it is definitely the fastest thing to go down. After passing through several floors and finally finding the veranda of her bedroom. Her feet landed shakily on the marble floor as she held on to me and reluctantly let me go, "Don't… Ever do that… AGAIN!!!"

Well at least that took her off her earlier questi---

"You still didn't answer my question." I didn't really expect her to whisper in my ear that way! I struggled to grip on the hammer a little tighter. Now I understand what all the guys who played "Romeo" must've felt as they tightly held on to their ladders like they were holding on to dear life.

"I swear that wasn't funny!!"

"You look at lot sleepier than I am! Were you even paying attention to what I was saying?"

I regained my composure as I landed my feet on the marble floor. "I was listening."

"Hm… If you won't answer that she really is a small part of history isn't she?"

I raised a brow at her and stared at her long and hard. _If you only knew… _

"Maybe I should let you know."

She was taken back as she made one small step backward. "Wh-what?"

With one step forward I closed the distance between us and situated my arm just behind her back.

"Lavi?"

"Just in case you might fall down."

"And why will I—"

I took in the expression of confusion and embarrassment written all over her face. Pink stains were coloring her cheeks, amethyst orbs glowing under the faint moonlight, the rhythm of her breathing getting slower and steady, and lips that struggled to find words to say besides my name. This is something that should really go down in my history.

"You know she isn't a small part of my history…"

"Then, what is she?"

With only five centimeters gap between her lips and mine I gave her the answer she was looking for.

"You're the biggest part of my life."

* * *

HOLY!!! LOL!! HAHA!! Okay I considered that very cccccheeeeesssyyyyyy!! XD I liked it either way! R & R everyone thanks a lot!


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